Boost Your Confidence: Talking to People

Boost Your Confidence: Talking to People

Talking to people can be a daunting task, especially if you’re not confident in yourself. However, with a few tips and tricks, you can boost your confidence and become a pro at socializing. Here are some ways to help you get started:

Speak slower: Pay attention to how fast you talk compared to others. Speaking faster than everyone else can signal nervousness or fear of taking up space in a conversation. On the other hand, speaking a bit slower gives you more time to formulate your thoughts and signals confidence. Make sure not to speak way slower than the one you’re talking to.

Accept your nervousness rather than trying to fight it: To be more confident when talking to someone, remind yourself that nervousness is something all humans deal with. Confident people also feel nervous. It’s just that they still talk to people they want to talk to despite their nervosity. Accept that the feeling is there and act anyway. Feeling nervous isn’t dangerous. In that way, it’s no different than, say, feeling hungry or excited. Knowing that nervousness isn’t dangerous makes us “less afraid of feeling afraid”. Ironically, this makes us less nervous over time.

Know that how you see yourself is not how others see you: You see yourself through all your history. “I’m nervous”. “I’m bad at X”. People you talk to have no clue about your history. Studies show that we feel like we stand out in social settings when we really don’t . Other studies show that we think people know how we feel when they don’t . Remind yourself that people you make conversation with likely see you in a more positive light than you do.

Focus on the topic to be more authentic and charismatic: Bring your focus back to the conversation when you end up in your head.

Use tonal variation to sound relaxed and confident: Varying your tone signals that you are relaxed. It can make you sound more charismatic too.

Name your nervousness to make it more familiar and less scary: When we name our emotions, we activate the prefrontal cortex of our brain which helps us regulate our emotions better . For example, if you’re feeling nervous before a presentation, say “I’m feeling nervous” instead of “I’m so scared”. This will help you feel more in control of your emotions.

Practice makes perfect: The more conversations you have with people, the easier it will become over time.

By following these tips, you’ll be able to boost your confidence and become a pro at socializing in no time!

: Morin D., & Sander V., (2021). 23 Tips to Be Confident in a Conversation (With Examples). SocialSelf. : Gilovich T., Savitsky K., & Medvec V.H., (1998). The illusion of transparency: biased assessments of others’ ability to read one’s emotional states. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. : Boothby E.J., Clark M.S., & Bargh J.A., (2014). The own-race bias in eyewitness identifications: A meta-analytic review. Law and Human Behavior.

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